How can you reset to more authentic way of being?
Jan 23, 2020
“Please help. My son died 3 years ago. I basically stopped work, study and socialising. I’m now viewing this as an opportunity to reset to a more authentic way of being. But I don’t know how to get started? Please help”
My heart instantly expanded to send Love when I read this. It’s a situation no parent wants to go through. And quite frankly from witnessing friends experience this - it’s bloody tough.
Initially feeling like your very DNA is shredding, being torn apart. That simply breathing can be a challenge. Shifting out of this to seeing it as an opportunity to reset is incredible.
So what can you do when you are at the place of being ready to reset?
Here are some ideas that may help….
1. Ask for support. To be your most authentic self. When friends and family ask how they can best help you, say that you are resetting to a more authentic way of being. If they find you playing in the old pattern, playing small, being stuck, ask that they help you step out of it. A simple reminder can be enough to help you breathe, catch your thoughts and ask yourself what is the most lovingly authentic thing I can do in this moment. Be aware that the most loving authentic thing in any moment could be really variable (from crying to dancing with joy; to speaking your truth to holding your council).
2. Imagine how you want to be and feel into it (theres some pretty interesting research to show how effective this can be). You might not yet know what that is you want to be or do and that's ok. I like to think of where you are heading to like a horizon. As you get "closer" to where you thought the horizon was, the things you see change. You might see different islands or destinations or possibilities. The starting goal may have actually been to get to closer to these as you were unable see them from the start.
3. Look at a bigger picture. You are a soul being having a human experience. Feel into this. Expand into the greater presence ( I call it unconditional Love or Infinite Love - you may call it something else). From an expanded perspective ask what your soul was needing to learn from this. Allow the answer to come to you. Acknowledge the response.
4. Be compassionate, loving, kind and honest with yourself. How can you expect to be safe with yourself to reveal your innermost being, if you are hard on yourself all the time?
5. Ask yourself how you want to remember your child - with the perspective of the pain of the loss or with the joy of their existence and the awesome times you had together.
6. From that expanded connected space, ask what your child came here to help you learn. Sometimes our children are our greatest teachers. Perhaps there is something else for your to pick up and learn.
7. Keep breathing and taking small steps. Sometimes we over- estimate what we can do in the sort term and under estimate what we can achieve in the long term.
I'd love to hear what you do to help you get more authentic. Much Love to you, Joss