Time to recognise and stop the internal critic "bully" once and for all
stop the internal critic once and for all Aug 29, 2017
How do you stop that voice in your head that holds you back and puts you down - and what can you do to assist your family and clients recognise and change that voice in themselves?
I was recently reminded of the importance of changing these thoughts, when the media reported a child suspended from school for bullying, filming and posting it on social media.
Like you, I often wonder what’s going on with people that bully, the children filming, those that watch without intervening, the “victim” and the media in reporting it. The event last week got me thinking about this in a different way.
As I wondered what we, as a collective society, are creating and what is being learned through this, Creator had me wondering further.
Perhaps there is more to this than meets the eye.
Maybe, just maybe, these children are acting out something that you, your family and clients, many in society have, but rarely show. Maybe these children are putting up a mirror for us to look at ourselves and giving an amazing opportunity to change. Giving us a gift.
So lets look at it piece by piece, with some searching questions.. (Ask yourself these, then your family and clients).
Are you ever like the bully (ok, I know you are a wonderful person, not a bully to others, but to yourself)?
Be honest now. How often do you put yourself down; tell yourself you are not good enough; there’s no point in trying cause you probably can’t do it; wonder if you are worth “it”; do something you don’t want to so you don’t hurt someone; beat yourself over a mistake or something you forgot?
We can go on here - are you ever critical of your appearance/size/shape? Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought “yuck”; not applied for a job you wanted because you were scared you might not get it; or put someone down to help you feel better?
Get the idea? Ok, now you might not be physically beating yourself up, but each time you think I negative thought like this it affects your body, your whole being. This brings us to the next bit…
The watching and doing nothing bit (or bystander apathy if you want a technical term).
When you’re hard on yourself (a polite way to describe those thoughts or feelings) do you ever stop yourself? Do you ever question where they ( thoughts/beliefs/negative self talk) come from and that perhaps they are not your highest and best? Or do you believe them? Act on them? Does it occur to you that you can actually intervene and say no to them?
How often have you let yourself be a victim to these beliefs? Accepted them with sadness, limitations and then acted on those feelings?
It’s pretty sobering to recognise that what is playing out in our children’s world is actually a reflection of our inner world. Perhaps in some strange way our children are gifting us an opportunity to see ourselves and recognise who we truly are, rather than the bully type beliefs we had let ourselves listen to.
Over the next few weeks I will share strategies you can use to recognise, transform and release yourself (and your family and clients) from these hidden issues and, in the process, release any obligation these children might have to help you transform yourself (and society) from these negative patterns.
You can start with two simple things:
- Simply notice how often you say something to yourself that is less than loving.
- When you notice a negative thought stop being a passive bystander and let yourself know that this might not be the truth.
Have an awesome day and keep an eye out for next weeks post with ideas on how to transform these thoughts.
PS Feel free to share this reminder strategy with your family and clients.