Ask and you can receive in the most amazing ways

Uncategorized Jan 23, 2020

Summer holidays conjure up warm lazy days, outdoor adventure, family time, bbq's with friends, water, mountains and all in between.

I'm making the most of the summer holidays here.  Younger son heads off on an exchange this week and older son starts university shortly.  Life continues to show the consistency of change. 

Quite frankly I like it that way.  It's over to you how you approach it and what meaning you take from it.

I remember many years ago when my children were babies I decided to visit my parents - about a 10 hour drive and 3 hour boat ride away.  The day before I was due to go I had one of my premonition dreams - in this dream I was about 1 hour from my parents, was driving around a bend in the road and a yellow car came round the corner on the wrong side of the road creating a head on crash.

I was definitely going to visit my parents.  So I took the dream as a little sign to ask what I needed to do differently to get a different...

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How can you reset to more authentic way of being?

Uncategorized Jan 23, 2020

“Please help.  My son died 3 years ago.  I basically stopped work, study and socialising.  I’m now viewing this as an opportunity to reset to a more authentic way of being.  But I don’t know how to get started?   Please help”

My heart instantly expanded to send Love when I read this.  It’s a situation no parent wants to go through.  And quite frankly from witnessing friends experience this - it’s bloody tough. 

Initially feeling like your very DNA is shredding, being torn apart.   That simply breathing can be a challenge.    Shifting out of this to seeing it as an opportunity to reset is incredible.

So what can you do when you are at the place of being ready to reset?

Here are some ideas that may help….

1.  Ask for support.  To be your most authentic self.  When friends and family ask how they can best help you, say that you are resetting to a more authentic way of...

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How to catch and turn a grump around

Uncategorized Jan 22, 2020

Have you ever had one of these days?

You wake up with memories of things that irked you in the past.  As you go through the day they keep popping into your head and you start repeating old stories.  Your mood gets affected, and suddenly the end of the day comes and you realise you've had a crap day.  

Most likely you have - well your version of this.

Today was one of those days for me.  I woke with lingering dreams of years gone by, still irked by them. There was a not-so-subtle hint that I was holding themes that would do me good to resolve.  (I'd taken on beliefs about the events that were still informing my decisions rather than the me I want to be deciding how I would react).  As I got up I was aware of these dreams, but didn't give myself time to really understand what they were there for.  I was on a mission to meet a friend for our 6 am walk. 

As we started walking I found myself talking about the things from my dream...

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Making friends with those not so adorable aspects of you

Uncategorized Jan 21, 2020

How do you deal with those moments when you know, you’re being less than your most brilliant self.   In that space where you’re having a really bad day.  When the person speaking on the inside is someone you’d cross the road to avoid!  Sometimes it seems a bit harder to cross the road from yourself!

I’ve met some people who are able to say to themselves  “I'm perfect, this is all happening perfectly” and be able to walk away from things.   But most people I’ve encountered haven’t found this particularly helpful in the long term.  

If you ever find yourself in that space,  here are some ideas that may help.

  1. Take a breath and count to 10. Slowly.   The 12345678910 variety is less like to help than the 1…2…3…4…5..6…7…8…9…10. 
  2. Use this time to let things float.   Let yourself realise you have choices and possiblities in...
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How to hold space for someone to transform

Uncategorized Jan 20, 2020

 What is it about certain people that enables you to feel safe with them, that you know its ok to be with them while you process or work through something;  that helps you really go deep, knowing that they have your back?  What is it about you and what you do that enables people to feel safe with you?

It's a really good question to ask yourself, explore and do some research on - especially if you want people to trust you to be there for them as they transform.

When I was at university studying psychology this was an area that was discussed in depth,  with plenty of time to practice using different techniques and questions.   A quick google search can help you find some of these.

One thing I have found less frequently discussed is how you hold the space for someone with your intent, how you set the space up that you work with them.  How to help them feel safe enough and trust you.  Here are seven ideas  I  find make a difference.

  1. Clear...
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Limiting self with expectations

Uncategorized Jan 19, 2020

"How do I find my purpose and make a difference" is a question I was asked in my recent questionnaire.   It's one I have heard for many years (and have asked myself). 

I received a very direct answer to this when I tuned in, and decided to share it with you.   It's direct and may be not quite what you are expecting...

"This expectation of purpose is a way that people were learning about worth, judgement, place, belonging, connection, control, power, balance.

Are you finished judging and blaming yourself?   You didn't come here to limit yourself and spend your existence tying yourself in knots.   You didn't come here to add to the confusion.   Look into yourself and ask why you let yourself be imprisoned in limitations (of thinking you had to achieve).   Why do you do it to yourself?

It has and always will be about you.  You are the Being you came to be.   Stop letting others define who you are and shaping what you are.   Stop...

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What is your relationship to menstruation?

“um…er…um…(downcast eyes, blocking body) do you have any supplies?”

What is she talking about I wondered.   My son’s drama class were staying over for a weekend of creating, writing, filming and general fun.   What sort of supplies did they need?   Another camera, clothes, props? 

And then it hit me.   A 16 year old girl looking uncomfortable,  unable to make eye contact asking for “supplies”.   And then a wave of elation spread over me.   Yes, as a mother of two boys, I finally get to support a beautiful female being in some small way as she as she learns to step into and navigate menstruation. 

“Oh  I’m not sure I’ll have a look; are you ok?”   was my initial jumbled reply. 

As a post menopausal woman who used a moon cup for 17 years, a quick trip to the supermarket was in order.   Along with a purchase of ice-cream for dessert for 9...

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A lesson in customer service

Uncategorized Jan 17, 2020

I've learnt a lot about customer service over the past few months through a broken laptop and very scarce information from the company concerned.

Firstly I sincerely apologise to everyone I have ever been slow in replying to emails. 

Which quite frankly has been probably everyone.  Unless you managed to catch me on one of those rare days where I was at my computer at the exact time your email came in.  In which case I responded promptly.

In the past my perspective was:  if I'm with a client they get my attention - phone calls and emails can wait.  Then came my children.  I didn't want to be one of "those parents" whose children described as always on their phone and not paying attention.  

(My singing teacher described getting 60 children  to act the most common thing their mum did, as they sang a song.  59 of them pretended to look at their mobile phones saying that's what mum did most of the time.  Society has changed quickly in...

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How deeply do you let yourself feel gratitude?

Uncategorized Jan 16, 2020

I love the delicious feeling that comes when I wake grateful to be where I am,  grateful for my life.  The feeling of being grateful for all I'm learning and yet to discover.  And for you reading this.

I'm super grateful for the researchers showing the power and impact of gratitude, and that I'm here at this time. 

Today I wondered about the layers of feeling and expressing gratitude.   Like the childhood instruction to say thank you when we are given something.  It can range from conditioning with little meaning to conveying incredible gratitude and love.

Sometimes I see the impact expressing gratitude has.  Recently I was meeting someone at a cafe.  When their drink arrived this person carried on talking,  giving no recognition that the coffee had been delivered.  The waitress stared for a moment and went back to the coffee machine.  If felt weird to me.

When my coffee arrived I thanked the waitress...

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What's behind your desire to serve?

Uncategorized Jan 15, 2020

What cues can help you recognise when you have a belief or old programme that may no longer be serving you?   Or at least parts of the origin may no longer be the best option for you?  

When you are exploring  what creates a situation you (or someone you are helping)  would like to change there are lots of little hints and cues to watch out for.  

As we go through and explain these, you could use the example of a question someone asked me, to see what comes up for you.  As you read the question sit with it for a moment.  You may want to use the following hints as a guide. 

The question is:  How can I be more of me so it's automatic to be of service?

 Here are 5 steps that may help you feel into the question:

1.  What are you feeling when you hear / read/ think about / say a particular statement or idea?  Please avoid the social etiquette of replying "good" or "fine".   These can be a social cued response rather than an...

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